Destiny

Church means so little to me and here I am training students to work in the church!  I am here for so much more than this: 
I am here to train students to shake up the world, to stand up for the vulnerable and advocate for justice for the marginalized.
I am here to help students heal their own historical trauma and become a facilitator of healing in others.
I am here to raise and further equip Aboriginal leaders and to educate non-Aboriginals on a deeply emotional level all about the Aboriginal reality.
I am here to travel to the far reaches of the earth where the hidden powerful live and to enlist their help and challenge their complacency to be a positive force for dignity, human dignity on a personal and community level.
I am not here to kiss ass or to comfort the powerful or self-satisfied.
I am here to provoke, to disturb and to motivate into action.
I am here to take the blinders off, to sing a great compelling song in a melodious voice that brings the powerful to their knees in humble weeping and that gives life to the wounded broken soul covered with dust, barely breathing.

I see them stir, I see them rise, I see them tremble the confidence of ancient powers, powers that seek to maintain the status quo of indignity.  I see the powerful tremble at the humble who are confident in their God and Creator, who move with the grace of Jesus and who evidence the power of the Holy Spirit.

Their words resonate and tremble fundamental things and trigger movement in the heavens.  Valley's fill up, mountains bow down, storms go stock still, animals speak, powerful whispers are heard...Jesus is Lord and the day of indignity is over...no more oppression, no more violence upon the innocent, no more mocking laughter over the victimized, no more bondage and blindness, no more gossip and whispering, no more injustice but mercy, grace and truth.  No more haughty looks, no more jealous pride, no more weeping that tears you from within, no more frustration and fear, but dancing and celebration and joy and love...from a very deep place!!!!!

Collapse of Quantum Possibilities of the Past and Future in the Eternality of Now

I was born out of time with you. All the possibilities of the past have collapsed to this tender moment with you. Whatever possibilities of the future none can deny this moment of sublime encounter. I have always loved you. This love has transcended generations, both from the past and on into the future. It has even transcended me. Actually this is the easiest to accept for I am well aware of my own dependence upon all of my context that comes to bear upon this present limited apprehension of "me."

I feel a sense of longing because I have always been going in and out of desire and loss. I have always said good-bye in the midst of sublime entreaty and consummation. My ancestors are me and my future generations are present in this moment. Oh the fool, who says, "Get over it and chart the course of your own destiny by your own act of will." Oh, I do not chide the power of choice but even that power was born into us by evolutionary survival.

I am here because my ancestors refused to die when they were led off to slaughter. Even when they were pushed off the buffalo jump they found some flora to break their fall and then gathered the strength to crawl through blood to see another day. This is my heritage. This is my DNA. This is my contribution to future generations, the faces that are coming from the ground.

This is the force of love - that which pulls us beyond the sacrifice of the present struggle and acts on behalf of these future generations. It is a love that transcends time. I loved you before you knew it. I will love you after you are gone.

It is the love of the immortal Arwen who knows she will hurt for ages with only the memories of her great love who has long since passed away. The cold stone monument is the only physical legacy of this transcendent love even as the bones of legacy have been reabsorbed into the ground of consequence.

It is the kiss of love that wakes you from your dream. The dreamscape so real, so transitory, so evocative of the great swelling of our hearts. The moment of clarity is so real, so sensual, which makes its fade in deja vu so so compelling to life. Memories of collapsed possibilities in moments of intersect are coloured with such vibrant passion and even vigorous hues.

The stuff of life is the interpreted meaning of this chaotic flow of sensory information. Love has organized it to apprehend and grasp dignity. This is the crown of human achievement, not the buildings of Babylon, not the schemes of clever men, not the competing souls of mites! It is dignity apprehended, dignity affirmed, dignity promoted, dignity written in the script of life that creates the world.

I can barely fathom the love you have for me. You love me and affirm my dignity and I only feel my failure. Oh, to be able to rest, to rejuvenate in this basking in your grace. I love you. Your love is so much greater than me. Your DNA overwhelms me with courage and peace. I am swallowed up in you. This is the heaven I spoke of. This is the place I want to live in forever. This is the passion and depth of love and survival and dignity.

A Lover's Defence - Post #3

An Accuser’s voice,

"But don't you care about what others think of you and what you have done?"


A Lover’s response,

“Oh I do care very much. I care about what the One who made me thinks. I care about what my love feels and thinks. I value highly the opinion and feelings of my children. I care about those who are most affected by my love.

“I do not care to hear about the opinions and feelings of insecurity, fear and jealousy. If, in my loving transcendent beauty, others are provoked to jealousy I am happy to provoke more love, more care, more respect, more pursuit, for my love deserves nothing less.

“See if you can best me in love, in consideration, in loving regard concerning my love. I am motivated by this, by this pursuit of excellence, by this need to grow in skill, in art and in devotion and care. My love has always desired and required this kind of devotion and attention and any callous disregard of this is not my fault. I am not responsible for the neglect of others, for the hardness of their hearts, for their manipulations of wealth, power and privilege...these thing that assault human dignity. If my esteeming of my love and her desires to a high and holy place provokes the jealousy of self-seekers, what is that to me?

“I care about the jealous only in the matter of my love's concern for them as she has had history with them and time and experience have forged tender bonds. Bonds that when strummed bring tears and joy to the eyes of my love. Oh I do care about this for they move my love. I will listen. I will be present with my whole heart and I will weep with her.

“I am my own being and have my own unique responses to history too and this has schooled me in the art of empathy and compassion. If this provokes the jealous response of others I only feel sorry for their smallness of perception. Perhaps the day will come when they know this love I experience with my love. Then they would laugh and celebrate with us, even against their own inclinations.

A Lover's Defence - Post #2

An Accuser’s voice,

"But you have violated so many rules. Doesn't this make you rethink the course of your actions?"


A Lover’s response,

“Rules have been crafted by insecurity. Something very painful has happened and the shallow response has said, ‘Let's make it so this never happens again.’ Rules have been the response to pain since the Garden of Eden. Creator did not use rules this way but, even before there was violation, made known Divine will. This spoke of life and freedom and expectation – this was unmitigated joy. This is the joy of being all Creator has made you to be.

A man's eye is drawn toward his female loveliness. His smell and taste confirm her deliciousness. His hands thrill at the entanglement of skin. His ears make him melt as she whispers his name. The dance of mutuality and of respect and of response moves two bodies to meld into one. Words consummate. Eyes mingle. The feast is mutual and consummate. The song of love is sung in the delight of Creator's dance. The musky smell of response thrills to pleasurable explosions of delight.

Where are rules in all this? Where are the boundaries? Where are the lines drawn? Where are the referees and judges? Where are the condemning voices? Where are the stern looks? Where are the accusers with their rules? They are not here. There are only lovers. There is only mutual joy and response. This is the delight we all seek, unmitigated by human violation and impropriety.

What rules have I broken? Only the rule that says, "You shall fear." I am happy to break that rule for perfect love casts out fear. True love is violent with that which assaults dignity and that which hinders Creator's joy. I will ever break those rules of fear and indignity!

A Lover's Defence - Post #1

An Accuser’s voice, 

"How do you respond to all these charges of impropriety?"

A Lover’s response, 

“Have you ever met genius and art that so fascinated you that you could think of little else? Do you know what it is to be attracted by some glimmer of light and brilliance and then, as you draw closer, a loveliness unfolds that surprises and delights you? Your smile grows larger and the contemplation that inspires only grows fonder with the passage of time. It is like coming across value and wisdom that, at the time, you are not able to apprehend. It escapes your conscious notice but something on the order of pheromones never-the-less draws you and moves you inexplicably. It is the mystery of all the choices we make before our conscious awareness even notices what is going on. It is as though we are drawn on by unseen forces - God if you will. The triggers of sight and the visceral response of smell captures your attention and somehow you are awakened to loveliness.

“I know this great joy and I have struggled all my life to respond to it in a way that feels like fulfillment, like naturalness, like unmitigated joy. I do not regret the courage of my responses that have been this way. There are too many examples and anecdotes I can give of fear, of the opinions of others, the pressures of family and followers and that of leaders that have diverted me from the quantum pull of my own heart. Where I have turned aside to see a burning bush but I did not stay long enough to listen. The clamour and clutter of the agenda of others clouded my perception and the clear experience of my own soul.

“The forces of history and the contextual pull of the present are propelling me into the consummation of the future. It is the inexorable flow of destiny. When I have yielded to this flow of destiny and courageously initiated movement toward this natural visceral response I have traveled decades and miles in moments. I found myself in heaven, in a place where I wanted to live forever. I saw things that made me weep. I heard things that melted my heart. Something in the aether moved through me and I could see/hear the end of time. I saw and heard humility and power. I watched as human artifice and pride crumbled and melted into the soft simple care of a child who listened and learned. The smoke of Babylon rose up and those who were moved by this something in the aether were unmoved by the great pull of power, wealth, and pride.

“When I looked into her eyes they ravished me with embrace. I saw my own worth. I became better than I was. I became more whole and a more true expression of myself. I am glad I cast off restraint. I am happy to have followed my heart. I have tasted heaven and I am so rich and my eyes have seen beyond the pale of this unfulfilled and longing world.

“What do I say to accusations and to the shame inferred by this word impropriety? I say I am happy, I am free, I am full of love, and I would do it again a thousand times over!”