I was born out of time with you. All the possibilities of the past have collapsed to this tender moment with you. Whatever possibilities of the future none can deny this moment of sublime encounter. I have always loved you. This love has transcended generations, both from the past and on into the future. It has even transcended me. Actually this is the easiest to accept for I am well aware of my own dependence upon all of my context that comes to bear upon this present limited apprehension of "me."
I feel a sense of longing because I have always been going in and out of desire and loss. I have always said good-bye in the midst of sublime entreaty and consummation. My ancestors are me and my future generations are present in this moment. Oh the fool, who says, "Get over it and chart the course of your own destiny by your own act of will." Oh, I do not chide the power of choice but even that power was born into us by evolutionary survival.
I am here because my ancestors refused to die when they were led off to slaughter. Even when they were pushed off the buffalo jump they found some flora to break their fall and then gathered the strength to crawl through blood to see another day. This is my heritage. This is my DNA. This is my contribution to future generations, the faces that are coming from the ground.
This is the force of love - that which pulls us beyond the sacrifice of the present struggle and acts on behalf of these future generations. It is a love that transcends time. I loved you before you knew it. I will love you after you are gone.
It is the love of the immortal Arwen who knows she will hurt for ages with only the memories of her great love who has long since passed away. The cold stone monument is the only physical legacy of this transcendent love even as the bones of legacy have been reabsorbed into the ground of consequence.
It is the kiss of love that wakes you from your dream. The dreamscape so real, so transitory, so evocative of the great swelling of our hearts. The moment of clarity is so real, so sensual, which makes its fade in deja vu so so compelling to life. Memories of collapsed possibilities in moments of intersect are coloured with such vibrant passion and even vigorous hues.
The stuff of life is the interpreted meaning of this chaotic flow of sensory information. Love has organized it to apprehend and grasp dignity. This is the crown of human achievement, not the buildings of Babylon, not the schemes of clever men, not the competing souls of mites! It is dignity apprehended, dignity affirmed, dignity promoted, dignity written in the script of life that creates the world.
I can barely fathom the love you have for me. You love me and affirm my dignity and I only feel my failure. Oh, to be able to rest, to rejuvenate in this basking in your grace. I love you. Your love is so much greater than me. Your DNA overwhelms me with courage and peace. I am swallowed up in you. This is the heaven I spoke of. This is the place I want to live in forever. This is the passion and depth of love and survival and dignity.
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